There is a saying "sabr kar sabr kar, Allah ke ghar der hai andher nahi hai" that my Mom always says. It basically means be patient, be patient, in God's house, there may be delay, but there is no darkness. He is aware, and there will be no injustice.
This journey so far has been a test of that patience. And I've been failing. My anger has shown through; my sadness has shown through. If one more person tells me to relax- I may shut down completely. I've just been miserably failing.
I pray that I find the resolve that I know I have to get through this and just buck up and relax because after all, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, and this wedding is the depiction of their dreams coming to fruition. The dreams that any parent has for their child. Knowing that I am able to give this to them does make me incredibly happy, but it also means letting go of every dream that I had for myself in terms of the wedding that I thought I would have and that has been the biggest challenge thus far.
But just writing this out makes me feel better. I have never truly failed at anything that I've ever set my mind to and I'm setting my mind to making this the best, darn Indian wedding that this massively congested town has ever seen, so God-willing, I will succeed at it :)
We go to the baker tomorrow- to bake me a cake, well bake it in 12 days time....
This journey so far has been a test of that patience. And I've been failing. My anger has shown through; my sadness has shown through. If one more person tells me to relax- I may shut down completely. I've just been miserably failing.
I pray that I find the resolve that I know I have to get through this and just buck up and relax because after all, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, and this wedding is the depiction of their dreams coming to fruition. The dreams that any parent has for their child. Knowing that I am able to give this to them does make me incredibly happy, but it also means letting go of every dream that I had for myself in terms of the wedding that I thought I would have and that has been the biggest challenge thus far.
But just writing this out makes me feel better. I have never truly failed at anything that I've ever set my mind to and I'm setting my mind to making this the best, darn Indian wedding that this massively congested town has ever seen, so God-willing, I will succeed at it :)
We go to the baker tomorrow- to bake me a cake, well bake it in 12 days time....
No comments:
Post a Comment